Quotes

To write these I use subtitles found here to help me ;)

Episode 4.01 Endgame:

  • (Kensi and Deeks go undercover in a bank, outside the bank while they enter)
  • Deeks: Looks like our Iranian friends are still here.
  • Kensi: SUV on the right.
  • Deeks: This could get interesting.
  • Kensi: I like interesting.
  • Sam: If it's gonna happen, it'll be when you come out. Be ready. You got everything?
  • Deeks: Yes, Mom.
  • Deeks: I counted two in the SUV.
  • Kensi: Could be more. You think we're on their radar?
  • Deeks: In this suit, are you kidding me? Probably haven't taken their eyes off me since I got out of the car. (Deeks checks out Kensi's behind) Or it could be... yeah, it's probably you. I'm just saying that skirt is working.
  • (Inside the bank)
  • Kensi: Morning.
  • Female Teller: Good morning. Welcome to Certified National. How can we be of service today?
  • Kensi: I need access a safety-deposit box.
  • Female Teller: Certainly. Name?
  • Kensi: Peters.
  • Eric: And away we go.
  • Female Teller: First name?
  • Kensi: Scott.
  • Female Teller: This is your safety-deposit box or...
  • Kensi: My husband's.
  • Female Teller: But you have his signed authorization to access the box?
  • Kensi: I'm his wife.
  • Female Teller: I'm sorry, but you either need to be designated or have a signed authorization.
  • Kensi: Okay, listen, honey, he's my husband, okay? What's his is mine, what's mine, oh, he's welcome to, because I don't have a damn safety-deposit box, do I?
  • Deeks: Morning. I am, uh, Kelvin Atley. I need to access my safety-deposit box, please.
  • Male Teller: Of course, Mr. Atley.
  • Female Teller: Mrs. Peters, there's no need to raise your voice. I'm sure if you just ask your husband...
  • Kensi: You want me to talk to my cheating, lying, good-for-nothing, two-faced, cheap husband? This is what you want? Start World War III?
  • Female Teller: I'm sorry.
  • Kensi: I didn't think so. You're sorry. Okay, okay, you know what? If I can't have access to that box, you are going to open it and you're gonna tell me how much money he's got stashed in there. That's what you're gonna do, honey.
  • Male Teller: Sign right here.
  • Deeks: Of course.
  • Female Teller: Even if I was authorized to, which I'm not, it's a two key system and I'd need your husband's key.
  • Kensi: You want a key? You want a key? I'll give you a damn key. (She search the key in her purse)
  • Male Teller: I just need to check your ID on file.
  • Deeks: If we could do this quickly, I'm actually in a little bit of a hurry.
  • Kensi: There you go. (Pours the purse content all over the female teller's desk) There you go. Oh. Oh, freaking ridiculous. I don't have a key. I don't have a key. You know why? Because he's freaking stingy, that's why.
  • Female Teller: Try not to get too upset here.
  • Deeks: So, we're good then?
  • Kensi: That stupid moron.
  • Male Teller: (Distracted by Kensi's hotness) Hmm?
  • Deeks: Sir, good to go?
  • Male Teller: Yeah, um, just come with me this way.
  • Kensi: See, I have no key. I have no key. Do you know why? Because that floozy has that key. That blonde floozy with highlights and short hair...
  • Eric: And we're in.
  • Kensi: That's right.
  • Male Teller: (With Deeks, in the safety-deposit box room) Take all the time you need.
  • Deeks: Thank you, sir. I got a USB. This must be the file. We good?
  • Sam: Clear, you're good to go.
  • Kensi: (Back in the bank, Kensi is escorted out by a guard, Deeks joins her) This is how you treat your customers? This is how you treat your customers? Are you enjoying yourself? Are you enjoying this? Are you? Really?
  • Iranians' Accomplice: On the way out right now.
  • Deeks: (Outside the bank) All right.
  • Eric: Iranians are on the move. Someone in the bank must have tipped them off.
  • Sam: Don't rush. Let 'em come. Okay, guys, they've got backup. Move to plan B.
  • Deeks: I hate plan B.
  • Kensi: Go! (Both run off)

Back to list ^

Episode 4.02 Recruit:

  • (Kensi is working out and Deeks is showing her his vacation photos.)
  • Deeks: And this is me on a camel, on the way to Petra.
  • Kensi: Uh-huh, that's awesome.
  • Deeks: You're not even looking at it.
  • Kensi: Yes. That is camel, and I think he likes you.
  • Deeks: What? No, that's my foot, I think that's my foot. Ooh, wow, that is awkward. Moving on. This is the Wadi Mujib, on the way to the Dead Sea.
  • Kensi: Get it out of my way. I'm working out, Deeks.
  • Deeks: Uh, while I'm trying to show you my vacation photos, which is more than a little rude.
  • Kensi: Dude, I've seen them. Several times. You e-mailed me every day.
  • Deeks: Well, maybe next time, you should come with me.
  • Kensi: I've been to Jordan.
  • Deeks: Okay. Well, then, we can go someplace else. How about, say, for instance, the Amazon? Or Norway, the land of my forefathers?
  • Kensi: How about "no," because we work together every day. Why would I want to vacation with you, too?
  • Deeks: Because we're partners and I'm awesome.
  • Kensi: Which is all the more reason why I value our time apart.
  • Deeks: Whatever. You totally missed me.
  • Kensi: Ha! You didn't give me a chance to miss you, Deeks.
  • Deeks: Is that why you turned your cell phone off?
  • Kensi: I turned my cell phone off because I was at a yoga retreat, and I needed to relax.
  • Deeks: Uh, wait a minute. You don't do yoga. I do yoga, and you mock me for it.
  • Kensi: That's because I do it for spiritual centering. You, on the other hand, do it to pick up chicks.
  • Deeks: So what you're saying is... you couldn't make a hook-up even with a yoga dude?
  • Kensi: Okay. You know what? I was asked to leave after the rescue helicopter landed on the beach.
  • Deeks: I was worried about you.
  • Kensi: Thank you for that.
  • Deeks: Well, maybe you shouldn't have turned your cell phone off. (Kensi swats Deeks' butt, hard) Ow!
  • Nell: Hetty wants you guys up in Ops. Got a hot one.
  • Deeks: Nell, wait a second, hold on, you got to see this. (Nell runs away) This is me on a very excited camel, on the way to Petra... Nell? Nell? I got a... camel and a... I'm on a camel.
  • Callen: Pick a number between one and ten.
  • Sam: Seven.
  • Deeks: Four. Eight. Six. Five. Five or... five or six.
  • Kensi: I really don't care.
  • Deeks: Why are we doing this? Doesn't matter. I'm gonna go back with my original number, which is my lucky number, which is four... point zero zero two six.
  • Nell: The atomic weight of helium?
  • Deeks: You're good. She's good.
  • Sam: Your favorite number is the atomic weight of helium?
  • Eric: And you call me a geek?
  • Deeks: Helium makes you talk funny.
  • Sam: Makes you think funny, too.
  • Callen: You win, Deeks. Number was four.
  • Deeks: Boom. What'd I say about my lucky number?
  • Callen: You two talk to the family, we're gonna speak to the Marine Corps.
  • Deeks: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. Why do we got to speak with the grieving family? That's not fair. Sam's your partner. I could've said any number, and you would've said I won.
  • Kensi: Come on, Einstein.
  • Deeks: I hate this game.
  • Kensi: Smells good over here. What's for lunch?
  • Sam: Mystery fish.
  • Deeks: Oh, Deep Sea Surprise is back?
  • Callen: Help yourself.
  • Deeks: Seriously?
  • Callen: Mm-hmm.
  • Deeks: Nice. Sharesies?
  • Kensi: No, thank you. And don't say "sharesies."
  • Deeks: All right.
  • Sam: How'd you two make out?
  • Kensi: Parents are in denial. Their son worked at L.A. County Beach and Harbor and has a girlfriend, Mary Clark, who we are on our way to go see now.
  • Deeks: This is delicious.
  • Sam: Too bad you don't know what it is.
  • Deeks: Sure, I do. It's a Lake Superior white fish. I'd say caught in a gill net. Probably two or three days ago. What? I'm a surfer, I know my fish.
  • Kensi: Yeah, he's kind of like a trained seal, only without the "trained" part.
  • Sam: Or the "SEAL" part.
  • Callen: So, why would David Adams go back to Afghanistan if it wasn't to work for Adanan Al-Ahmadi?
  • Sam: Maybe he left someone over there.
  • Deeks: Maybe he met a woman.
  • Kensi: No, he already had a girlfriend. (Guys look at her funny) I hate guys.
  • Deeks: Maybe it wasn't a girl. Maybe it was treasure.
  • Kensi: You watched Goonies again, didn't you?
  • Deeks: No. Maybe.
  • Kensi: There it is.
  • Deeks: What? It's a great movie.
  • Callen: Deeks could be right.
  • Sam: It's a good movie, not a great movie.
  • Deeks: Oh, look at this. Check that out. That's my favorite.
  • Kensi: Deeks, I'm driving.
  • Deeks: We're in a parking lot. You're pulling over.
  • Kensi: Yeah, to let you out. Next time, I won't slow down.
  • Deeks: Okay, you have to admit, though, I am rocking that turban. I look like Lawrence of Arabia. Hmm?
  • Kensi: Okay, that's a kaffiyeh, not a turban, and you seriously look like you're in drag. Touché.
  • Deeks: Okay, that is mildly amusing, but you can't say "touché."
  • Kensi: Think I just did.
  • Deeks: Yeah, but it was inappropriate. I'm the one that's supposed to say "touché."
  • Kensi: I can say "touché" if I want.
  • Deeks: Yeah, you can say it, but it doesn't make any sense. All right, if I say something and you say something witty in return, which, by the way, is highly unlikely, let's just say for the sake of argument that you do, perhaps by accident, then, and only then, would I say "touché."
  • Kensi: Yeah, see, I think you're just mad that I beat you to it.
  • Deeks: That's not how it works, all right? Only the person being bested says "touché."
  • Kensi: Really?
  • Deeks: All right, you know what? Let me just drop some knowledge on you for a second, all right? It's French. It comes from fencing. It means "to touch." So, if I were to touch you with my sword, then you would say "touché."
  • Kensi: Then I wouldn't say it because you ain't never touching me with your sword, Zorro.
  • Deeks: Wow, that just happened. Fair enough. Okay, that was a touché.
  • Kensi: Okay. Touché.
  • Deeks: But you don't get to say it!
  • Kensi: Touché, touché, touché.
  • Deeks: Yeah, it's like teaching semantics to a dolphin.
  • Miss Clark: Yes?
  • Kensi: Hi, Miss Clark. This is Agent Blye and Detective Deeks, NCIS. We spoke on the phone.
  • Miss Clark: I'll be right there.
  • Kensi: Okay. Touché, touché. You cannot touch my touché.
  • Deeks: Okay, that's a human resources violation, which is going in my report to Hetty. (Kensi makes a face that means something like "Hell if I care") Really?

Back to list ^

Episode 4.03 The Fifth Man:

  • Sam: Not bad, Kensi. Not bad.
  • Callen: Better than your partner.
  • Sam: Speaking of which...
  • Kensi: Deeks is running late. He ate some bad sushi last night, so it made him sick.
  • Callen: Bad sushi?
  • Kensi: Mm-hmm. What?
  • Callen: You know we invented the "bad sushi" move, right?
  • Sam: Which means we don't fall for the "bad sushi" move ever.
  • Kensi: Okay. He went to Vegas. He drove back last night.
  • Callen: And he didn't invite you?
  • Kensi: No, because I had plans.
  • Callen: Plans?
  • Sam: Plans? If you lie, we'll know.
  • Kensi: John Hughes marathon with my mom.
  • Callen: Wow. That you should have lied about.
  • Sam: He must've taken that model.
  • Kensi: She's a fitness model, not a fashion model, which means she doesn't even model actual clothes.
  • Callen: So what does she model?
  • Kensi: Energy drinks and fake tattoos. You actually think he took her?
  • Deeks: I'm, uh... I'm really sorry that I'm late. I just... I had some bad sushi last night. I mean, it was so hard to get out of bed this morning. And why are you doing this?
  • Kensi: Because they know.
  • Deeks: They know? Okay. The only way they could know is if a certain person who watched Pretty in Pink for the 98th time last night ratted her partner out. We agreed on the "bad sushi" move, partner.
  • Kensi: Well, it turns out they invented the "bad sushi" move.
  • Callen: That's right.
  • Deeks: Really? And, uh... Wow, what is... what is this?
  • Sam: Sayoc. Stick grappling. Yeah. Close-quarter combat.
  • Deeks: Oh, I see. So, what's the plan here? You gonna go a little Bruce Lee on me, 'cause you do remember that I carry a... a weapon, right?
  • Sam: The most common weapons are blunt objects.
  • Deeks: Oh.
  • Sam: Sticks, pipes, bats. Things like that.
  • Deeks: Oh, I see, I see. Hey, Hetty! Aah! Ha, ha! Uh, uncle! El tío! El tío! Uncleway! Uncleway!
  • Sam: Huh? What'd you say? What'd you say?
  • Deeks: El tí...
  • Sam: You dropping the pig latin on me?
  • Callen: Fun's over.
  • Deeks: Yeah, 'cause you know what? Nothing says fun like getting choked out with a stick.
  • Deeks: So, uh, tell me. Did the, uh, ride over here strike you as somewhat tense with long, uncomfortable silences? Kind of like this? This about Vegas?
  • Kensi: I had other things to do, okay? Non-Deeks things. Plus, I'm totally over Vegas.
  • Deeks: You've never been to Vegas.
  • Kensi: Exactly. Because I'm over it.
  • Deeks: Okay, technically, you can't be over a place you've never been to. Doesn't matter. Here's the deal. We're going together. You and me.
  • Kensi: No.
  • Deeks: Yeah. Look at me. It's happening.
  • Kensi: No, it isn't.
  • Deeks: Vegas. Vegas. All right, I get it. You're afraid you wouldn't be able to keep up with me in Vegas.
  • Kensi: Oh, I could keep up with you.
  • Deeks: Not even close.
  • Kensi: I'd bury you.
  • Deeks: Okay, so prove it. Me, you, Vegas.
  • Kensi: Okay. You're on. Bring it, Beach Boy.
  • Deeks: You know what they say. What, uh, happens in Vegas...
  • Kensi: Will leave you curled up in a little fetal position begging for mercy.
  • Deeks: Promise?
  • Kensi: So, Hoffman lives on the third floor. Outstanding arrest warrants, check fraud, possession of counterfeit currency, misdemeanor assault.
  • Deeks: But, supposedly, he's got an IQ higher than both of us?
  • Kensi: Yeah.
  • Deeks: Ooh.
  • Kensi: Watch it!
  • Deeks: Probably a sale on skinny jeans someplace.
  • Kensi: What?
  • Deeks: 'Cause she's a hipster.
  • Kensi: She was Emo.
  • Deeks: Mmm. I will bet you Eric's horn-rimmed glasses that that girl was a hipster.
  • Kensi: Is there even a difference?
  • Deeks: Yeah. Of course there's a difference, they got the... the hair with the colors and the tight... I have no idea. Is there a difference?
  • Kensi: You sound seriously uncool right now.
  • Deeks: Whatever. Either way, she was a cutie.
  • Kensi: Oh, my gosh, she looked like she was 15.
  • Deeks: No, I didn't mean that kind of cute. Wait a minute, how do you know that she wasn't 18, huh? Maybe... maybe she was just petite.
  • Kensi: Maybe your brain is petite.
  • Deeks: Touché. Kens? Hey.
  • Kensi: The girl.
  • Deeks: I got the apartment.
  • Kensi: Yep.
  • Deeks: Manic Pixie Dream Girl?
  • Kensi: Slipped away. For now. You check that laptop?
  • Deeks: I'm going to have it bagged for Eric, let him do the honors. So, we got no wallet, no I.D. and obviously a hell of a struggle.
  • Kensi: That's fatal head trauma. Bad fall would do it. Right there. Slammed his head on the edge of the coffee table.
  • Deeks: Or she could've slammed it for him.
  • Kensi: He's twice her size. If anything, she was in survival mode.
  • Deeks: Running from the scene and leaving a trail of blood makes her look pretty guilty.
  • Kensi: We don't know anything about her.
  • Deeks: Exactly.
  • Callen: You've been busy.
  • Deeks: Yeah.
  • Sam: This Hoffman?
  • Kensi: No, sir. This is Hoffman. We're still waiting on the I.D. for the body.
  • Callen: Hoffman didn't get hit at the diner like the rest of them. Maybe this guy was sent to finish the job.
  • Sam: Holster, no gun.
  • Deeks: Manic Pixie Dream Girl must've taken it. She had a small backpack.
  • Callen: "Manic Pixie Dream Girl"?
  • Kensi: I think her name is Astrid. And she clearly knew Hoffman.
  • Callen: Yeah, Eric?
  • Eric: All right, still waiting for an I.D. on your body. Hoffman's cell phone's been switched off. No signal, no trail.
  • Callen: Does Hoffman have any family?
  • Eric: Negative. Everything we've got indicates he's a loner.
  • Nell: Speaking of social connections, I just got the results from a deeper round of profiling on the diner victims. This morning was the first time any of them met.
  • Sam: Dr. Mathers' story checks out. The group didn't know each other.
  • Callen: So, besides Operation: Wide Awake, the doctor was their only link.
  • Sam: Which means he could be a target, too.
  • Callen: Send us any updates on Hoffman and the girl.
  • Deeks: Done.
  • Kensi: Where did you go?
  • Kensi: Call her back.
  • Deeks: Wait a minute, what's the plan here? I mean, what are you going to say to her? "If you're not killing everybody involved in a top secret governmental program, maybe you can come over and watch Pretty in Pink, we can eat some Oreos"?
  • Kensi: This might be the only chance we get, and I think I can get her to talk to me.
  • Deeks: Why?
  • Kensi: Because she's scared.
  • Hetty: You've found the girl.
  • Kensi: Yes. Astrid is on the run and she knows about Operation Wide Awake. We have a chance to talk to her.
  • Hetty: But Mr. Deeks believes your emotions are clouding your judgment.
  • Deeks: Well, that's a little harsh, but... yeah.
  • Hetty: Call the girl, Mr. Beale. Maybe she'll see in you what you see in her, Miss Blye.
  • Callen: Kensi, Deeks... why don't you do your thing.
  • Deeks: First date?
  • Kensi: Last date.
  • Deeks: Is this because I didn't take you to Vegas? Because we are in the casino now.
  • Kensi: Mmm... that's why I need to upgrade.
  • Deeks: Kensi? Kensi?
  • Kensi: My friend hates it when I gamble.
  • Hoffman: Life's a gamble.
  • Kensi: No.
  • Deeks: Fern? Fern. What-what are you doing here? Are you trying to make me jealous?
  • Kensi: See, he went to Vegas, and he thinks that this is gonna make up for it.
  • Hoffman: I'd never go anywhere without you. He's clearly playing way out of his league.
  • Deeks: Okay, you know what I love? I love it when people talk about me like I'm not standing right behind them.
  • Kensi: So... are you just lucky, or are you really, really good?
  • Hoffman: I'm really, really good. But, uh... I'm looking to get lucky.
  • Deeks: Okay. You know what? I love... I love a little butter with my cheese. I'm going to grab a soda.
  • Hoffman: Buy you a drink?
  • Kensi: Yeah. Shaggy won't stop bugging me if I stick around.
  • Hoffman: Then maybe... we should leave.
  • Kensi: Maybe we should.
  • Callen: Genius-level IQ, huh?
  • Hoffman: Oh, crap.
  • Sam: Luck's run out, Hoffman.
  • Hoffman: I knew it was too good to be true. Figured my chances were 50-50.
  • Deeks: Just to be clear, I am, uh, totally in your league.
  • Kensi: In your dreams.
  • Deeks: All the time, darling. All the time.

Back to list ^

Episode 4.04 Dead Body Politic:

  • Kensi: What are they talking about?
  • Callen: Something about birds and dragons.
  • Sam: Could be code for something totally different, knowing those two.
  • Deeks: Yo, easy, Wonder Twins. You're scaring the old folks. No...
  • Sam: Who you calling old?
  • Deeks: What?
  • Callen: I'd choose your next words wisely.
  • Deeks: I don't... obviously, I don't mean old. I mean older, and I don't mean that from a physical standpoint, because, obviously, you're... I mean that from a metaphysical standpoint because you have a much more mature spirit than...
  • Sam: Ah.
  • Callen: Are you thinking what I think you're thinking?
  • Sam: Yeah... push-ups.
  • Callen: Mm-hmm.
  • Deeks: What do you mean, "push-ups"? No. No. What's-what's... why push-ups? Oh, God, really? Push-ups?
  • Kensi: Yeah.
  • Sam: And when I say push-ups, I mean big-boy push-ups. No knees.
  • Deeks: Okay, the only person who does push-ups on their knees is Gran... ger. Assistant Director Granger, good morning, sir.
  • Deeks: You know, that's okay. I can definitely walk to the curb from here. (To the two girls) Hi. Hello.
  • Girls: Hi.
  • Deeks: Hi. I just, uh, couldn't help but notice that you two look very, uh...
  • Kensi: Young.
  • Deeks: I was going to say informed because of all the pamphlets. I wanted to know if maybe you wanted to educate me on the issues later or if...?
  • Kensi: Oh. Educate you on the issues?
  • Deeks: Those are two women who are very passionate about the democratic process. Besides, did you see how they strategically placed those eagle pins?
  • Kensi: Okay, that...
  • Deeks: (Cawing) Just landing... God, that's beautiful.
  • Kensi: That is our nation's symbol that you just landed on their shirt.
  • Deeks: I know. What a country. All right, you're up.
  • Kensi: You know what? Be my guest.
  • Deeks: What are you talking about? You pick locks. That's, like, your thing.
  • Kensi: See, I am all for the pursuit of happiness, but there is no way that I am bending over in front of you today. Take it.
  • (Deeks takes the pick lock tools from Kensi and bend down to open the door, Kensi checks out Deeks' ass.)
  • Kensi: Not too shabby.
  • Deeks: So, we got photos with Clay's family, him and his buddies, and there it is... the money shot with Candidate Tenez. He should have had her sign it.I mean, what if she becomes president one day?
  • Kensi: How happy does he look in that photo?
  • Deeks: Surprisingly so. Why?
  • Kensi: Because Clay was looking to jump ship. He was updating his résumé.
  • Deeks: And writing cover letters, which no one does for fun.
  • Kensi: Would Clay leave the campaign because Tenez was slipping in the polls?
  • Deeks: Maybe his planning to quit had something to do with his murder.
  • Kensi: Or maybe he knew something about her that he couldn't stomach.
  • Deeks: Something that ended up getting him killed.
  • Deeks: Senator Osborne!
  • Senator Osborne: In the flesh! Always a pleasure to meet a constituent.
  • Deeks: Hi.
  • Senator Osborne: Oh, you want a photo? Come on over. Yep.
  • Deeks: I'm actually...
  • Senator Osborne: All right, Diane, would you do me a favor? Absolutely. All right, here you go. All right, smile. Look up. Don't be shy.
  • Deeks: Ugh.
  • Senator Osborne: There you go. Hey. Anybody ever tell you you've got Ike's jawline? You'd make a heck of a candidate.
  • Deeks: Yeah, no, I'm not much into shaking hands. Lot of passing back and forth of germs.
  • Senator Osborne: Well, doesn't matter with that head of hair. You're like a wild stallion. Well, who's this little filly?
  • Deeks: Special Agent Kensi Blye, NCIS.
  • Senator Osborne: Ooh, feisty one, huh? Bet she's a lot of fun when the lights go down.
  • Deeks: Your reputation precedes you, Senator.
  • Senator Osborne: I'm a national treasure, honey. I feel like that every time the voters of California reelect me. All right, let me guess why you're here. Uh, this is about my opponent, yes? Such a shame what happened to that boy who worked on her staff. And now there's this... this hit list.
  • Deeks: What hit list?
  • Senator Osborne: Oh, that was almost convincing.
  • Deeks: How do you know about the hit list if it hasn't been released to the public?
  • Senator Osborne: Very hard to keep secrets in this game.
  • Deeks: And, of course, you had nothing to do with it?
  • Senator Osborne: Why would I need to? I am beating Monica Tenez in double digits in every demographic in this state. And you want to know why?
  • Deeks: Enlighten us.
  • Senator Osborne: She's too nice. Same reason people like her so much is the thing that's gonna just ruin her in politics.
  • Deeks: Okay, so who is behind the hit list?
  • Senator Osborne: I don't know. Uh, maybe the guy who was sleeping with her, perhaps. (Scoffing) Oh, just a theory.
  • Deeks: That was cynical, even for a politician.
  • Senator Osborne: Son, I have been through so many elections that I have seen it all. There's nothing that surprises me anymore.
  • Deeks: All right. Let's go and leave the senator to his baby-kissing.
  • Senator Osborne: Well, let's not get emotional about it. Doesn't really matter anyway.
  • Deeks: Wait, why doesn't it matter anyway?
  • Senator Osborne: A little birdie told me that Tenez is planning to drop out of the race. Save face because she's losing so big, I imagine. I don't really blame her. I mean, you know what they say: Politics ain't for the faint of heart. Yeah, okay. All right, troops, let's go!
  • Kensi: What a pig.
  • Deeks: I don't know. Called me a stallion.
  • Kensi: Is that what you're telling yourself? 'Cause what I heard was that you have a horse face.
  • Deeks: No. Ike was good-looking, right? Like, in his youth, in a Supreme Commander, five-star general kind of way? I mean, that was a compliment, right?
  • Kensi: If it was meant to be a compliment, he would've said you look like JFK.
  • Deeks: What a pig.
  • Deeks: Wow. You are rocking that power suit.
  • Kensi: Yeah? Feel like a caged animal. And I know what you're thinking, so quit while you're ahead.
  • Deeks: I don't know what you're talking about.
  • Kensi: Okay. Power suits make you think of Hillary, which inevitably leads you to Bill, which then drives your warped mind to Monica.
  • Deeks: Well, depends on what your definition of warped is.
  • Kensi: You were thinking of Monica.
  • Deeks: Come on, it's the granddaddy of all inappropriate office relationships.
  • Hetty: I hope you don't have designs on that title, Detective Deeks.
  • Deeks: No, no, I'm more of a lady in red kind of a guy than a woman in blue.
  • Kensi: Not helping your cause.
  • Deeks: I should go.
  • Hetty: I know that you admire Tenez, but that's also the reason why you need to be extremely alert. Don't let your passion cloud your judgment.
  • Kensi: Of course. Have you ever thought of running for office?
  • Hetty: Well, I ruled Nicaragua once, for 72 hours. Don't ask. Don't ask.
  • Deeks: You okay?
  • Kensi: Yeah, but she's fooling herself. She is that tough.
  • Deeks: Maybe. But it doesn't matter if she doesn't realize it.
  • Deeks: You as worried as I am... about this push-up contest? 'Cause I did some Pilates this morning. I'm feeling a muscle fatigue, and it's coming...
  • Kensi: Deeks...
  • Deeks: Okay. What's wrong?
  • Kensi: Sam said that we got lucky. How did the shooter miss?
  • Deeks: Wow. Really brings it all back, doesn't it? Presidential election of '95?
  • Kensi: There was no presidential election in '95.
  • Deeks: Sure there was. Me versus Amanda Belcore. Class president. She was a wily little fox. I remember I gave my speech, I ate a bunch of peanut butter and then acted like I couldn't talk 'cause I ran out of milk. It was... it was borderline genius.
  • Kensi: Yeah, Marty Deeks, the great communicator.
  • Deeks: Exactly. I got my message across without saying a word. It was more like a... like a powerful interpretive dance, you know?
  • Kensi: Mmm. Any chance you can do that again so I could post it online?
  • Deeks: Amanda beat me by eight votes. But then I took her sister to prom, so who really won?
  • Kensi: Not Amanda's little sister, apparently.
  • Deeks: It's gonna make a really interesting anecdote for my memoirs.
  • Kensi: Freaks, Geeks and Deeks?
  • Deeks: Wow. Pretty quick on the trigger there. How long you been hanging on to that one, huh? I mean, it's clever, but it's not that clever. So how long? Like, a week?
  • Kensi: I'll be right back. And I came up with it in the shower this morning.
  • Deeks: Hey. Psst! Hey! Thinking about me in the shower? She's thinking about me in the shower.
  • Deeks: Ten minutes, she makes the announcement and it's all over. Kensi?
  • (Kensi has flashbacks.)
  • Deeks: Okay, you just made your I just found a Kit Kat in my seat cushion" face.
  • Kensi: The shooter had an angle on Tenez the entire time. But he didn't fire until Tenez took a step towards me, leaving a clear line of sight from the building... to Rebecca.
  • Deeks: Rebecca was the target.
  • Kensi: She still is.

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